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Mobile Game Review: Alpaca Evolution

June 23, 2015

Like most smartphone users, I enjoy the occasional perusing of the Play Store in an effort to find a couple new games to play. Most of the games I download are just money-traps and half-made garbage... but every now and then, I find a gem of a game.

 

"Alpaca Evolution" is, unfortunately,  not one of those gems - rather, it is a disturbingly entertaining experiment in the primordial nightmares of the early-earth evolution of the Alpaca. The premise seems to be along the lines of: "In the early days, millions of years ago, you must help one Alpaca in his quest to assert his dominance, and absorb his kin - one by one - to become the ultimate grotesque Alpaca Overlord,"...or something like that.

 

 

The game begins quite unassumingly, with your Alpaca casually taking a cigarette break, which is interwoven among moments where your Alpaca is curled in the fetal position, looking lonely and dejected. (See Left)

 

This only lasts for several moments, however, at the outset of the game. Fueled by resentment for his kin and copious amounts of nicotine, the Alpaca eyes his incoming prey... his unsuspecting Alpaca friends. They enter the screen casually, one at a time, and wander about, aimless and rebellious in their misplaced Alpaca pride. 

 

This is where the game becomes wholly existential in nature - it could be that the player is to set out on a mission to purge the prideful Alpaca as they enter the screen, and peer judgingly upon our Alpaca; or, they could be Alpacas of peace, and we are the murderers. We simply don't know the reason behind his quest to metamorphisize into his final form.

 

All we do know for sure, is that this is where the horrific violence begins, ultimately facilitating an Akira-like transformation of the Overlord. The player taps the screen on the unsuspecting Alpaca visitor which sends the Overlord swinging with his Alpaca fists, and then another tap on the unconscious Alpaca-victim will results in the Overlord absorbing the victim into his belly without ingesting him.

 

That is pretty much as hilarious and/or horrifying as it sounds. You do this over and over, until you have enough experience to evolve the Overlord into his next form, which occurs automatically. Every new level comes with its own experience pool, and the challenge, as with most mobile games, becomes patience. The more you mutate, the more Alpaca victims must be absorbed to achieve the next form.

 

In the image below you can get a sense of the progression of Alpaca-based violence and evolution. View at your own risk.

 

 

 

 

 

Notice that, in the final form, your Alpaca has mutated to the point where heads start dying off, and he loses is muscular Alpaca arms. Where previous forms of the evolved Alpaca were built for speed and ferocity, mother nature has something very different in store for his final form... which I have yet to witness, due to the high XP cap. 

 

You can force-fill the screen with new Alpaca victims by watching Play Store game-ads over and over, most are 15 seconds, and some are 30 seconds. I would not recommend ever doing this for progression in a mobile game.

 

I am taking some time to determine how committed I am to this game, before I sink any more time into it. However, I would recommend playing Alpaca Evolution for a few minutes for the entertainment value. Seldom have we seen a game with such a pure portrayal of the horrors of true Alpaca nature. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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